Random Thoughts

I have decided that in my next life I want to be a Beluga Whale. I don’t know, there is something about these creatures that I really love. I was watching some DVD with my boy about them and it made me feel emotional. The whales come out the pool and kiss the kids. I mean that would be pretty lame to have to that at a water park but I would not mind swimming around the ocean. There are a lot of perils in the ocean I am sure: toxic waste, hunters, cruise ships, and like predators. But I think that it would totally worth it.


I was walking pass some ‘street people’ and one yelled to me “Give in but never give up”! Really street guy are you reading my mind or do yell that to everyone?

Bitch got dumped! Pack light: Truer words have never been spoken.



I forgot about the library. I went there today with my son and I felt like a smart gal. I have been really penny pinching sans the damn near $10 I been shelling out at starbucks daily. But anyway I been saving to buy a math book for some test I gotta take and I was like ‘um Diana you can check out books at the library for free’. I avoid the library because of the bums and denizens, but luckily there were no masturbators or creepy conversationalist to hound me. I got three math books and I was out of there in less than 30 minutes. I think I am going to start going to the library regularly.

I relapsed on Facebook. But I am there by special request from a beloved friend and not my intense need to know what people are doing every second of the day. I am addicted to those stupid farmtown games.

Do relationships with younger dudes work? I don’t know? But I think men are men no matter the age. A good one is damn hard to find that's for sure.

I am going to lose a ton of weight the hard way. I just want to give people a heads up. I am not smoking crack or nothing. But I am not gonna to make a big deal about it just in case I gain it back, which has happened before. Losing weight is so boring, can you imagine no flour and sugar?

I get sad on Sundays

Happy Halloween

I can’t believe that I never carved a pumpkin before! I always have the worst stories but Halloween gives me flashbacks from my shitty childhood. I stopped trick or treating when I was ten because I got robbed from a grown man for my bag of candy. My brother on the other hand would come home with damn near a garbage bag of candy. Once my mom let me dress up as a hooker when I was nine, I still have nightmares about that! Anyway motherhood has definitely led me to be thinking about the brighter side of things; my boy really enjoyed this activity. It made me feel good to watch him, love abounds.

Twenty Questions with Diana

Damn, when did Vibe magazine shut down? Vibe magazine was one of the first magazines I bought when I was like 12; I stopped reading it in my teens because there are only so many interviews with hardcore rappers you can read. I also understood at an early age that magazines just want to sell you something whether it be a product or a fantasy. Anyway my favorite part of Vibe magazines was the 20 questions where they would ask mocking sarcastic questions about celebs; even after I stopped reading the magazine I would find it on news stands and read the questions. Anyway here are my 20 questions:

20. Are they putting laxatives in crack? How many pools of diarrhea do I have dodge in the morning?

19. How come so many vegans smoke cigarettes? Wouldn’t some barbecue chicken be healthier?

18. Does anyone that knows anything about NAFTA surprised that our economy is the shitter?

17. Does anyone believe reality TV is real?

16. Speaking of reality TV. Shouldn’t anyone who puts their kids on a reality show have them immediately taken away?

15. Have you ever wondered if you are getting fatter or are your clothes getting smaller; and really considered the idea that your clothes are getting smaller?

14. Do you fill up your basket with junk at target and abandon most of the goods at the check stand because you are too cheap or broke?

13. How come black people look at you like you just did a soft shoe if you don’t like Obama?

12. Do you ever feel guilty for praying to win the lottery?

11. Do you get excited about Halloween because of the cheap bite sized candy?

10. Are you tired of Megan Fox, what does she do?

9. Are you depressed every fucking Monday and a little less depressed on Fridays?

8. Have you ever gone to Chevy’s and lied and said it was your birthday to get that free fried ice cream?

7. Are you over the whole menstrual cycle but afraid of menopause too?

6. Would have sex with Flavor Flav for $30,000 and you can’t be drunk or nothing?

5. Who’s hotter Lindsay Lohan or Elizabeth Taylor?

4. Damn shouldn’t Lindsay leave them drugs alone if you had to think about the above question?

3. Do you get jealous when you hear about people winning frivolous lawsuits?

2. Have you ever spent the whole day trying to figure out why you are farting so much?

1. Why do jail make people remember how much they love you?


Wow that was harder than I thought, I am no Vibe editor though.

Random Thoughts

Social networking sites like Facebook and Myspace are great if they are used for expressly that but when it becomes your main mode of connecting with the world then that’s a problem. I left Myspace because it was so junky and sleazy and mostly filled with folks trying to sell you things (mainly pussy or rap CD’s) but FB was like a dream I could post an update on my profile and immediately have interaction with people via their homepages; a simple ‘I’m bored’ could turn into a conversation of sorts. Working fulltime and being a single parent does not leave a lot of time for a social life and sometimes I find myself craving it so much. But FB gave me a false sense of this human contact, I mean I am not really talking to someone I am interacting with a machine. I tried to explain this to a few people but they did not know what I was talking about, as usual when I try to explain myself I come off as neurotic and whiny; my inside is so different from my presentation. I am going to challenge myself by trying to relate to my peers in reality, reality reality not virtual reality. So no more social networking, Twitter, FB, Myspace, or none of that shit. I don’t have a plan yet but a week without FB has led me to being more productive I mean instead of writing this I could have been taking a silly quiz

I am going through a lot right now. I feel like I might get canned any day from my job at the very least I am not very respected there. Stupid baby-daddy drama which I won’t even get into. Dealing with my baby being ‘special needs’ and all the stigma that goes along with that. Sometimes when things are out of control you have to create order where you can, so I am getting rid of all my junk (that I have not admitted was junk before). I have so many books that I know I will never read or need again. There is no reason for me to keep my ex GF’s social science books from 2002. So I have basket full of stuff for the Goodwill, I think Goodwill is a scam but all the organizations that give away stuff does not take donations on the weekends. I got rid of my son’s old clothes even if I do have another baby hopefully I will have enough dough for new onesies.

I am reading again after a long hiatus it feels really good too. When my son was born I gave it up because it was time consuming, now that he is older and becoming a reader it’s something that we can do together. I finished a science fiction book called September Snow, I actually bought it two years ago at a book signing the author had at Border’s in Fremont CA. I felt pressure to buy it because I struck up a conversation with the author about writing and he was nice. Once I started reading the book I could hardly put it down. It was really relevant about climate change and how that might be dealt with in the future. Also about how citizens have to vigilant about the potential disaster of tyrannous governments. I will try to read something lighter next time.

I Need to Get Organized!!!

I am so overwhelmed with paper. My shredder broke a few months ago because it could not handle the enormous amount of junk I poured through it. After my shredder broke I began putting the shred worthy documents in to a bag and now that kitchen size garbage bag is overflowing. As well as that there is a pile on my desk that is waiting to be sorted or put into the ‘shred bag’. I really need to buy a new shredder but this is the third one that I have in as many years. I went to comp USA to price the ones that may fit my needs but they are over $100. I just don’t feel like spending money for another hunk of junk, but I got to get my paper situation under control. Some people can live in mess but it really messes with my psyche but the worse it gets my avoidance mechanism kicks; which leads to the predicament I am in now. So I have to take a few steps to make this better.
1. Buy a Shredder!
2. Shred junk as soon as I get it.
3. Clean out my filing system so that it is relevant and I can utilize it.
4. Stop saving papers I know that I don’t need but might need someday but that day never seems to come.
I will buy a shredder as soon I am able. I need to do a budget too, but that’s another story.

Diana's New Blog